I had no idea of the kind of world I was about to get myself into when I published my very first post at Theta Mom. The blogosphere is now a place I can’t imagine myself not being an integral part of. I love to communicate and discuss ideas with others that revel in the same passion for blogging.
I’m referring to women who can empathize with me as they understand the same battles that I face, as well as connecting with those who have the innate ability to share a different perspective and make me think – I mean, really think. When a true dialogue is started, this is the aspect of blogging that I find so rewarding. It’s those distinct moments when we relate and connect that is so empowering. This is what truly fosters the relationships we are establishing together.
However, blogging can be stressful at times especially if we begin to compare ourselves to other bloggers. We tend to look at others that are reaching more success than we are and we begin to ask ourselves – what are THEY doing that we’re not? Why do THEY have so many subscribers and why did THAT post get so many comments? I was recently blog reading when a comment written by another blogger completely struck me. She referenced how it’s so easy to get caught up in the numbers game when it comes to blogging which actually spurred me to write this post…
When I began my blog, I knew nothing about Google Analytics, Sitemeter, Alexa and other tools that help you to analyze your site’s traffic. However, once I learned about these resources and understood the specifics I was immediately hooked. Quite frankly, I found myself checking these sources so frequently to see where my traffic was coming from, I became borderline obsessed. I constantly wanted to know how many page views I was receiving, who were visiting, where the referrals were coming from, which posts were most popular, etc. all in an effort to convince myself that if numbers were increasing I must be doing something right. But as soon as those numbers fluctuated or began to drop, this validation quickly turned to self-defeating behavior as I immediately felt like I wasn’t doing “enough.”
This was around the same time I began to look at my Google Friend Connect followers. It was an instant high when I saw a new face pop up in that little box or when I noticed new subscribers through my feed. But it was also a very low feeling when I lost followers. I was left wondering what I did wrong that made them lose interest in my blog. This was coincidently about the same time I began to count comments. There were times I would pour my heart out into a post which took a long time to draft and if I didn’t get as many comments on that post, I was disappointed to find that the carefully chosen words that took so long to put together didn’t resonate with others.
I also began to feel pressure that if I didn’t return every comment or at least attempt to connect with those that shared with me, readers would not return. {However, returning every comment and visiting every blog is impossible and if you need to know how I came to terms with this self-deprecating behavior, be sure to read this post}.
I thought that if I didn’t update my blog everyday I would eventually lose subscribers. I was trying to keep up with other bloggers that were posting daily and I realized that this was a pace I could not continue. The moment I began to feel as though this blog felt more like a “job,” I took a step back. At the end of the day, this blogging thing should be nothing but fun and rewarding. The moment it becomes otherwise, it’s time to re-evaluate.
So, how did I move away from the followers-comments-numbers game? I immersed myself in rich content and focused solely on the writing. I still love a good review and giveaway here and there, but my drive is truly powered by the need to clearly articulate my voice through this platform – whether I am heard by 5 or 500,000. I can’t obsess over the numbers anymore because that’s just what they are, a bunch of numbers. They certainly don’t equate to my self-worth as a blogger or even the total worth of this blog for that matter.
Do I still use Sitemeter and those other resources as helpful tools? Of course I do. There are many benefits as to understanding your site’s traffic and how to properly market to your target audience. There is so much knowledge to be gained from these tools and when integrated effectively they can be quite useful. But measuring your worth against these numbers? Well, that’s when it becomes self-defeating.
I do not spend countless hours anymore playing the numbers game – because my time is valuable and better spent drafting words in context that truly have meaning.
And THAT has become my true passion and fulfillment.
That is MY validation.
Thank you for writing this. I struggle with the obsession of checking numbers constantly. If I don’t get as many hits today as yesterday, I start to worry that I’m not good enough. I’m slowly stepping away from the numbers…and spending more time writing. That’s were I get my enjoyment. As long as I can still write, I will keep posting…refraining from checking the stats every FIVE minutes.
You always know just what to say, Heather! Your words strike a chord in every blogger. When I’m struggling with the numbers game, I always go back to basics and back to the beginning. Remembering that I started this blog for ME helps me to remember that I am writing for me. At my pace. About my chosen subjects.
Until I am being paid big money to blog, I can’t and won’t get tied up in numbers. Thanks, as always, for reinforcing that point!
You’re right. It’s so easy to get caught up in numbers. The numbers are nice, but I decided when it stops being fun is when I’ll quit. Blogging is my outlet, and I need it to be enjoyable amongst all the other things I have going on in life.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Military Children and Autism =-.
I love this post. I got bummed the other day because I only got a couple of comments on a post that I thought was very interesting, but then I was reassured by some of my followers that it doesn’t matter who reads it. I know that I am interesting and my blog is for me! If other people like it then that is just extra!
thanks for mentioning sitemeter – i need to check that out.
but you’re right. it’s always about the content and when it’s not about the content anymore then it’s time for reevaluation!
.-= ericka @ alabastercow´s last blog ..guest blogger: alexis from depressionsandconfessions =-.
I needed this today. Thank you!
Thanks for the valuable post. It is sometimes hard to not get carried away with numbers. I do get that excitement still, but I want to be more strategic about growing…I want to check out those tools you listed
.-= Liz McLachlan´s last blog ..Sew what… =-.
I recently had to take a step back too! I was involved in waay too many memes which I enjoy doing but it was becoming a hassle to visit every one on the list and this that and the other! Great post
.-= brittney´s last blog ..PINT! I have A WINNER!!!! =-.
Perfect post! I soooooo needed to hear this today! Thank you!
.-= Jane´s last blog ..Seven Kids, Three Moms and One Restaurant Health Inspector =-.
Thank you so much for posting this. I really needed to read it. I have lately been feeling a little overwhelmed by the “business” of blogging. I have recently tried to recommit to the reasons that I started blogging and balance all the fun of memes and socializing with the journey I started. Add to that real life and it all seems a lot at times. It is so nice to hear from a blogger that I respect that you have faced these issues yourself.
I have faced these issues and the reality is, as my blog began to grow – the obsession for numbers got worse! It was so ridiculous! I came to the resolution that I need to write for me and whoever comes to join me along for the ride is the icing on the cake.
i’ve been blogging for over 3 years and the number game doesn’t get any easier to ignore. no matter how many times i tell myself and others that i don’t care, the fact of the matter is…i do. i care tremendously. and it takes the luster out of blogging sometimes.
great post!!
It was taking the luster out of blogging for me – if a post was well received, it was the added pressure of, “How will I top that? How will I continue to ‘keep’ subscribers?” The reality is I was losing sight of why I started this blog in the first place – to write. Everything esle really should be secondary. I can’t stress about the numbers anymore.
Omigosh did I need this more today then anything else I’ve come across! Today you spoke to my heart…For what it’s worth.
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..A Heap Of Thanks Now You Deal With The Tude =-.
That makes me happy that something I wrote resonated with you. Thank you for sharing that!
Well said. I have been completely caught up in this, lately. Because I don’t have as much time to comment, my comments have dropped. I must say, it played on my self-confidence a little. But I am still doing what I always did – writing, because that makes me happy. So I’m going to keep at it and do it for myself. Thank you for this post. It really made me feel better about myself!!
.-= Sarah C.´s last blog ..You may be without baby. But don’t expect to behave that way. =-.
Sarah – Exactly, you have to do it for YOU. We all lead busy lives and our time is limited, so I have come to realize that if someone doesn’t comment, it doesn’t mean they unfollowed me or don’t like my blog, it just means they didn’t have the time – and that’s ok. Thanks for stopping by! 😉
Thanks for this honest post. I get caught up in numbers, too. As my blog is growing and I’m getting ready to go the next step with it I just want to keep giving my readers what they want. A bit of inspiration, a project here and there and I want to connect with others. That is what I love about blogging…writing and connecting.
Have a great day!
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..Interview with Alexa Lett =-.
Thank you for the thoughtful reminder. I am constantly reminding myself of this. I need to not worry about comments or views, and just enjoy blogging.
.-= Double Dipped Life´s last blog ..National Food Bloggers Bake Sale =-.
Thank you for writing this. It is so easy to get wrapped up in everything we feel we are NOT in this wide-open blogging space. I know that I, for one, can get caught up in all the things that I perceive others are able to do. But what we ARE able to measure and quantify is the connection we feel with a fellow writer, blogger, mother, woman, parent, cook, artist, musician, whatever it be…that is priceless. And it can’t be analyzed.
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..The Baking Project (Cake#1) =-.
Amen!!! I used to get so caught up in the numbers that it became a bit of an obsession. But then it started to feel like a job (sometimes it still does) and that’s when I have to step away and remind myself why I blog in the first place.
As always, I enjoyed this post! You seem to speak the mind of almost every blogger out there!
.-= Helene´s last blog ..My mother versus the mother I have become… =-.
I too got sucked into the numbers game for a while, checking google analytics 2 or 3 times a day! But after reading your post on not being able to return every comment with a comment, I too came to terms with the fact that I can’t do it all. I can’t write appealing posts, be a good mom, work, start my own business AND return every comment.
I try to visit my fellow bloggers at least once a week and I hope that they are interested in what I have to say and forming a friendship with me and that they will continue to visit my blog.
.-= Sophia’s Mom´s last blog ..Mom Like Me? : The Pursuit of A Role Model =-.
I hear that feedback a lot and it is probably very true.
No, it sounds like its very true. The sad part is that you mostly hear it from people who are “successful”…not people who post frequently without a single comment or those who think a busy comment day is when they hit 10 comments!
I want to write without worry, focusing only on the content. But it is truly hard for me and often I feel like a failure.
What is wonderful about blogging is the ability to be heard.
So, what do you do when you wonder if anyone is listening?
Karin – I think all bloggers feel this way at one point or another. When I first started blogging, I was looking to build a following and be “heard” like everyone else, so I felt the pressure of trying to keep up with the pace. Then once my blog took off, it was a different kind of pressure, the one to “keep” followers and ensure the content was fresh and continue to “top” the last post – quite frankly, this was eshausting. That’s when I realized the numbers really don’t matter. It’s the connections you make with others, you can’t put a price tag on that.
So to answer your question, “What do you do when you wonder if anyone is listening?” In m experience, immersing myself in social media has attributed to much of my success. It’s a platform that allows you to share your blog and make connections wiht those in your target audience. I have found Facebook as another way to “get me name” out there. But the bottom line is that you have to do what makes you happy – and for me, I am a much happier blogger not getting caught up in the numbers game.
I apologize for the nine million mis-spelled words in that – lol
I think you’ll get the point, though…
Well put. My blog has always been, and will always be, my true web diary! If anyone wants to take part in the ride, so be it!
.-= Mommy To Two Boys´s last blog ..It’s official! I. Am. A. Soccer. Mom. =-.
I really couldn’t agree more. The numbers are just that, numbers. What counts so much more are the connections we make with each other and of course the content of our posts.
Thanks for sharing and helping us all to focus on what’s really important here in the blogosphere.
.-= The Grown-Up Child´s last blog ..The Non-Custodial Visit: Like a Journey to a Foreign Land =-.
I would love to have the attitude that “Mommy To Two Boys” has. But I started my blog as a way to share my story as a new mom and reach out to other moms to hear theirs. Not only do I thrive on the interaction and conversations that come from commenting, but I really enjoy the connections with other moms. It’s so hard not to get caught up in the numbers game when you have a handful of comments on a wordless wednesday post and then pour your heart out the next day and just hear crickets. Wait, so I get more comments when I don’t write a thing? It seems to make me second guess my posts all the time.
And it does seem true that those who have successful blogs are telling you not to worry about the numbers. But I find it really hard not to. I have only been blogging for 6 months and am still trying to figure it all out. I would really love for my blog to grow and continue to make connections with other moms.
Thanks for posting this. As always, you have some really great advice to give!
.-= Shari @ Tales from the Sippy Cup´s last blog ..Staring at the "idiot box" and other memories of my grandmother =-.
Shari –
Of course we would all love our blog to grow and gain a readership to interact with – that’s the beauty of blogging BUT when you get caught up in the game trying to measure up and feel like you are failing if you don’t – that’s the part that it self-defeating. So my point was to try and focus your attention on doing what works and feels right for you without worrying so much about what may not be happening right now…
Absolutely!! I completely agree. Sometimes its hard not too get caught up in it. Maybe its a competitive thing, maybe its human nature – I read somewhere that it was “an achiever thing”. As long as we all stay true to ourselves and only do what makes us happy everything else will fall into place right? Thanks for everything you do. You truly are an inspiration!!
.-= Shari @ Tales from the Sippy Cup´s last blog ..Staring at the "idiot box" and other memories of my grandmother =-.
You have totally soothed my soul with this post. And it is a man soul. Soothing man soul is nearly impossible to do. Congrats.
Wow! That’s a lot of comments… what am I doing wrong?? 😉
j/k Great post… Thanks for writing it! ♥ Michelle
Oh boy! This is a good one lady! I flip flop…I gets things in perspective and then I get caught up in the number…why did I lose 2 followers today..why oh why? Then I go…oh well, what can I do. All I can do is be me, write the best posts I can and if they want to come, they will. Honestly, I still do not even know what a follower does…I mean I get that I get the updates, etc., but someone posed a question to me about RSS subscribers being better than followers…I have no clue. Sorry, rambling on and show my ignorance of the other side of blogging.
.-= 504 Main´s last blog ..I’m Tickled Pink, No. 3! =-.
A to the Men lady! That is a very slippery slope…the numbers game! But then again it is wonderful to gain new readers!
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..An interview AND a giveaway=one HECKUVA day! =-.
Wow, what great insight! I’ve recently bought my domain and built my website and am trying so hard to learn all about SEOs, social media and networking, am new into Twitter and have a FB page. This is on top of having a full time day job and three wonderful kids under 7. The numbers game is so confusing at this point. I do feel despondent at losing followers or not getting the numbers I want/need to get to my website. The truth is that there are just not enough hours in the day to post/tweet or update everyday… You’re absolutely right about concentrating on the content and quality. Thank you so much for writing this post. It gave me a lift today.
Alisa – Thanks so much for your comment and I’m glad my words gave you a lift – I will be reminding myself of this very post when I feel myself feeling stressed about the numbers, too. 😉
Awesome. It’s so true if we write interesting, informative blogs the numbers will fall in place.
.-= Nicole Feliciano´s last blog ..Eco Event with Kelly Ripa and the Green Team =-.
This is GREAT advice. It’s so hard not to be upset people aren’t reading my blog. What I often fail to remember is that I have a new blog. It takes time to get interested readers. I don’t look at the analytics very often as I know it would make me more obsessed too!
.-= christine´s last blog ..Sacrificing Saturdays =-.
What a great post!!! Boy can I relate to that. I started blogging last year and have learned so much. I am grateful for the people I have met and relationships that have started. I have definitely got caught up in the whole numbers thing. I was trying to post daily and get something new and better out there. But then I fell apart. I was so caught up in trying to get more subscribers I lost sight of what I was really doing. I am finally back on track and moving in the right direction again.
.-= Modern Style Mama´s last blog ..Introducing Mom Simplicity…Simply Live, Manage, & Organize Life =-.
Exactly my experience. I was actually adding more pressure to myself to “top” the last post or respond to all of the comments. It was taking away from the writing – the reason I began this blog in the first place! Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you. Can I tell you without sounding weird that I feel a little famous every time you comment on one of my posts?
Anyway, another great post. I am a new blogger. I do it to flex my creative writing muscles and I want to be read and liked. I love the feedback and I’m getting better at not obsessing over followers.
I’ve been involved in discussions over what makes a great blog and critiquing blogs and the criteria for what turns readers away, etc. The ladies I’ve been talking to always being the discussion to design. I mean really, design? Do we read the news paper for design? Do people all over the nation subscribe to the Times because of it’s design?!
How long does it now take you to write a post? Have you noticed your writing skills improving since you started blogging? I have been blogging 3 months and I can see a significant difference in my writing. I feel I have settled into my own “voice”.
.-= M.e.:Daily´s last blog ..Spring! =-.
Famous – lol! 😉 In terms of design, I don’t care so much what it “looks” like as long as it is easy to navigate. I don’t like having to go searching for something I’m looking for – if I want to peek in the archives or read a post that looks interesting, it shouldn’t be difficult to find it. Other than that, of course I read for content.
I have to say, I feel like my writing gets stronger with each post (if that even makes sense). I revise constantly, but I find my voice is clearly articulated the more I write. A really good post takes me time to draft. I have it all in my head, but crafting it so that I don’t lose readers mid-way is what I find takes the most time. I want the message to be powerful but not get lost in the post by being too wordy.
Thanks for always leaving such thoughtful comments – this to me is when blogging is at its best.
I have to fight being wordy, too. I think over writing is one of the main causes for losing people’s attention. I have to fight that because my brain seems to be a thesaurus that wants to share every adjective it knows.
.-= M.e.:Daily´s last blog ..Spring! =-.
Thanks for this post….I really needed it. I blog about my passions which are cooking and creating and tend to judge my content by the comments I receive. Your insights have reminded me that I blog for the fun of it and that I shouldn’t take it all too seriously.
.-= Teresa @ Red Velvet Confections´s last blog ..Digging Back In =-.
And yet, you’re still obsessing. Hard not to when your blog is focused on building a community and raising awareness. Whose kidding who, it’s fun to look at traffic reports to see what people are searching for and what’s important to your readers. I’m not an expert blogger but I do blog about my family and life. My children and life are in God’s hands at all times and so, I will not worry what someone on the other side of the world thinks or knows and I will not worry about crazies that find my blog. If were the case, I wouldn’t blog at all.
Aimee – My obsession was putting pressure on myself to write a better post than before or top the lastest giveaway – it was an unproductive cycle and the numbers were the crux of it all. I have found the bigger my blog has gotten the worse it became – which spurred me to write this post because I saw how unhealthy this was. I was honest and real – hard to admit sometimes things we don’t want to admit.
Am I obsessing now? Over numbers? No – but when I think of everything in context and what IS put out there, I need to feel comfortable about how much information I make available to others and if I can strike a chord with bloggers and begin an open dialogue about this topic – which is apparent -well then, it was all worth it.
Such a good piece of advice. I think remembering why we blog is so important. Writing for the sake of writing and sharing to empower and connect with others.
.-= Andi, On Call RN´s last blog ..That darn right ventricle! =-.
What a great post! Such wonderful insight. I have come to terms with exactly the same things on my little blog; I do the blogging for me. Not for the numbers. Not for anyone else. Just for myself. And it feels good!
.-= Marit´s last blog ..Lykken er… =-.
I am new to blogging and your post is a great eye opener. I’ll work to remember why I started blogging in the first place! It was for me
.-= Licia´s last blog ..making a difference: 1 pack = 1 vaccine =-.
As a newbie to the blogosphere I must admit that the numbers can be completely intoxicating. All that validation (and right at your fingertips)! But I am finding that when I focus on what blogs are getting the most hits, my writing deflates and I stop writing how I intended to write. I think its going to be an ongoing battle… am trying to ‘pre-blog’ so I have things to post rather than blog-on-the-spot so to speak. Not sure if it will help, but its worth a shot!
.-= Jacqui´s last blog ..Where- what When the… Aw crap- I missed it… =-.
Oh, thank you for this! This is so good! I can totally relate to the emotions you describe and the roller coaster you can strap yourself to that ends up destroying your peace and taking away the fun in it all. Thank you for helping me to refocus on what it’s really all about.
Bless ya, TM.
.-= The Natives Are Getting Restless´s last blog ..Send in the moms to clean up Gulf disaster =-.
I love this article. I to find myself becoming obsessed with numbers. I also look at other people’s blogs and think my is crap compared to that one. I am slowly starting to accept myself more and more. Thanks
Wow, that was a great post! It is exactly true, I’m new to blogging and I have found myself a bit obsessed at times with those silly numbers. I have learned to relax and after reading your blog it’s good to know that I wasn’t the only one doing this, and there is still hope
~ Take Care
Thank you for this post. I’m trying to really remember what got me into blogging in the first place and it’s hard when you see something you’ve really spent a lot of time on not get the audience you want.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I get caught up in the numbers too. I especially love what you said about the purpose being sharing your voice through the blogging platform. It’s important, it most parts of life, to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this?” For me, it’s to try to find the humor in daily life. For myself, to help with the stress, but also to make my readers laugh. It’s therapeutic!
I loved this post! I can sooo relate! I often find myself wondering how other bloggers get so many followers and comments. And then I wish I had that many.
But it ís all about the writing I suppose.
Nevertheless, I still long for many visitors, I just can’t help myself. I suppose I wish to be heard!
You wrote, “I do not spend countless hours anymore playing the numbers game – because my time is valuable and better spent drafting words in context that truly have meaning.”
This really resonated with me – my blog is a platform for me to find my way through the many issues my super-powered family faces. Growth Hormone Therapy for a toddler? Speech-Language Therapy? PWS? OT? PT? ADHD? DMD? My blog helps me make sense of my crazy life.
As a new blogger I admit I really like the stats feature on my blog, and am thrilled to get a single visit. (Whoo-hoo! They found me, even if it was a misdirect from google;) But my main reason for blogging is trying to understand the conflicting voices in my head and process the cr@p my family goes through. I just love it if someone else visits me on the journey.
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